I'll decide

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Thank you for all of your support during that rough patch there! I'm slowly but surely crawling my way back into having a positive attitude about myself and my journey. While the past few days certainly have not been my best, I have learned a very important lesson, and I think it was all worth it.

Even on my bad days, I could control myself. I was mad at the world. I was mad at myself. I was stressed out at work and had some other personal things going on. But I stayed within my calories and I worked out (well, I worked out on Monday but c'mon....). I still made choices that I didn't think I could.

My emotions do not always control my actions!

My emotions usually play a huge roll in what I do. I consider myself to be a very emotional person. Usually feelings are the biggest motivators for me. But this time I knew better. Yes, I was feeling bad, but did I want to throw off my progress and set myself back? Heck no!

Months ago I never would have been able to stay on track. My husband and I would often joke after one of us had a bad day "Wanna go eat some emotions?" It was my excuse to behave badly. I could have ice cream, I'd had a bad day. I got in a fight with someone I love so I'm going to eat Chinese food until I'm sick. WTFreak!? Since when does having a bad day equal ice cream!?

Its nice to know that I've established healthy habits. I know that I need to work out and I know that eating food that is bad for me, won't make me feel any better.

I feel empowered with this knowledge.
I decide what I eat and what I do.
I'm in control!

Focusing on Failures

Monday, June 28, 2010

Some days this journey is so hard. I have hesitated writing this post because I like for my blog to show the positive side of this fight, to give you energy to keep fighting. But only posting on days when I was feeling great would be a lie.

I struggle. I cry. I feel like a failure.

There are times when I can't stay on the elliptical any longer because the only thing I can feel is the jiggle of my backside as I move.

There are times when my thoughts are so mean. Hating myself for not having more control, for not making better choices. For eating things just because they are in front of me.

Some days I can't look in the mirror because I still see 286 lb SherRon. I say to myself, "You've lost 70 lbs and you're STILL this fat!"

Today is one of those days.

I've eaten on track and I made it to they gym tonight even though I didn't stay long. But the fight today has been hard. The inner thoughts that I'm not worth it.

I'm not posting this because I want your pity. I'm posting this so that you know if you have struggles, you aren't alone. We all have bad days. Tomorrow is a new day.

The Foxy Shoes and the Hound

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

I have officially reached my 70 pounds lost mark so you know what that means...NEW SHOES! Ah...one of my favorite parts of this journey. I don't waste any time getting my shopping on so I headed out early Saturday afternoon to find the newest member of my collection.

No luck at the first store, but located right next to it was a Nordstrom Rack. I decided to wander in and just see if they had anything desirable and Oh boy, did they!

I walked out wearing, (yes, wearing) these hot little shoes:
Aren't they foxy? I love them.

One afternoon nap later.....I wake up to this:

Charlie had completely destroyed one of the heels. Such a tragedy! My new shoes....ruined the same day that I got them! At least I know that Charlie liked them.
I really cannot wait for this destructive puppy phase to pass.

Any ideas how I could make these wearable?

Dear Self,

Dear Self,

Nice job on your hike this weekend! However, one good workout on a weekend does not take the place of regular workouts during the week. I know, I know, you've been sore. It hurts to walk, but moving your muscles will make them feel better and you'll feel better about yourself. You know you aren't going to get much of a workout in this week since you are going out of town this weekend and have appointments until late in the day on Thursday. So, let's push it tonight. I'm talking HARD. mmmmk?

As for your eating: What was with the footlong? I'm pretty sure you could have been satisfied with just half of that and an apple. Why did you eat the rest? Just because it was there? Well there is a lot of food that is just there. You're going to have to learn how to deal with it.

Also,your snacking habit has gotten a little crazy too. I know you're excited about the pb2 that you just received this week but that doesn't mean you have to eat a whole jar of it in just a few days. How about today we focus on getting the fruits and veggies that make me feel full and give me lots of nutrients.

We have goals. Let's achieve them!

Timpanogos Cave

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Hey Everyone! I hope you have had an excellent weekend. This weekend I decided to follow my own advice and use my body to do something active. I often take for granted how beautiful the area I live in is so Matthew and I decided to head up the canyon that is only about 10 minutes from our house to hike to Timpanogos Cave. I've never been on the hike before but I've heard the caves were amazing and the hike was steep. They certainly weren't lying about how steep it was. Oh my goodness there were several times I regretted attempting to hike but I knew I could make it to the top so I just kept on going.

Once we got to the top we were able to catch the next tour into the caves. The cold air of the cave was very welcomed after the hike to the top and the formations were beautiful. It was definitely worth the hike up (although, if you would have asked me that on the way up...I probably would have disagreed.)

I feel so accomplished. Its not that the hike was all that hard. It was only 3.5 miles. But compared to last year, I never would have even attempted it. I'm proud that I'm making choices to be more active and to try things I wouldn't before. Its great when I can see my waistline shrinking and my character growing :)

As a reminder of what I've done, and what I want to continue to do, I bought myself a ribbon.

The ribbon says : "I survived the climb. Timpanogos Cave National Monument Utah" This ribbon is going straight up on my fridge...even if it is a little lame.

The rest of my weekend went really well. We picked up another bountiful basket so we are set for the week on produce and the scale on Saturday morning gave me a 4 lb loss. Woot woot!

PS...I got my 70 lb pair of shoes....more on that to come!

Healthy Bodies

Thursday, June 17, 2010

A few years back there was a commercial that featured a woman who was rock climbing. I can't for the life of me remember what they were advertising, but I remember that the woman said something along the lines of "Because healthy bodies have more fun." When I thought about it back then, I disagreed. "My body had more fun. I could eat whatever I wanted. Did healthy bodies know what kind of deliciousness they've been missing out on?" I've been thinking about that a lot more recently. I'm way more ambitious with this weight off than I ever was before.

When Matthew and I first started dating I decided to lay down the law. I don't hike. I've never enjoyed it. If I want to enjoy the outdoors, I'll go camping and stay by the fire. Dragging myself up the side of the mountain was certainly not my idea of a good time. Things have changed! This weekend we are going on a hike and I'm actually looking forward to it.
These days I know that healthy bodies have more fun. Healthy bodies play with their children. They shop in the stores without wondering if the store carries their size. They ride horses without wondering if they are just a bit too much for the horse. They wear swimsuits and play in pools and oceans without worrying what other people are thinking of them. They climb. They run. They dance. They ski. They discover.

I can do those things. I can have a healthy body. I'm so excited to be able to do these things with my body...and I certainly wouldn't trade it for a cheeseburger! (yes, even if it had bacon on it.)

What are your plans for your healthy body?

Hurts So Good!

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Yesterday was my first workout with my new kettlebell. I decided to add this workout in instead or replacing my cardio workout. I did the video before work and didn't have a problem following along with the routine at all. It was actually kinda fun and I didn't feel bored at all. At the end of the video I was a little disappointed because I didn't feel the burn as much as I expected to.

I finished my day with 45 minutes on the elliptical and then went to bed expecting to do the next video in the morning. OH MY GOODNESS! When I woke up this morning I could hardly move. I am so remarkably sore. I can't say I'm much of a fan of being constantly uncomfortable but there is something about being sore that gives me a great sense of satisfaction. I know that I made a difference in my body and this means that I worked hard.

I didn't do the routine this morning because I want to give my muscles a little time to repair themselves. I did do 30 minutes on the elliptical tonight to get my heart rate up but my legs were so over it way before the 30 minute mark so I decided it would be plenty for one day. As for the video, I think it is a definitely a keeper!

Do you love or hate the feeling of being sore?

Goals and Shopping

Monday, June 14, 2010

Hey friends!

Happy Monday! How did you do with your goals last week?

I was able to complete one of my goals. I did 5 days of 45 minutes on the elliptical. However, I did go over my calories on Saturday due to the shockingly high calorie content of a soft pretzel. Oh well. I was rewarded in my efforts with a 3.5 lb loss. Woot woot!

Except for the pretzel issue, I stayed on track and I had a pretty active weekend.

Thank you for all of your suggestion on how to work more strength training into my routines. I've decided to try a kettlebell workout. I did quite a bit of research on them and they look like something I could enjoy. I purchased a kettlebell this weekend and this morning I did my first workout. It wasn't too hard but I have a feeling that I'll definately feel it tomorrow.

This weekend I decided to do a little shopping and wandered into a Forever 21. Now I've never shopped there before because of my size and when they came out with thier "extended sizes" last year, I felt like it was a HUGE slap in the face to the entire plus size community. Their extended sizes barely cover what other stores carry as standard sizes. I know when I wandered into the store...even though I could find things in my size, I didn't want to buy them. Why would I want to buy a 3X? Rant over.

This week my goals are to do 4 sessions on the elliptical that are at least 45 minutes, to workout with my Kettlebell 3 times (One down, Check!) and to stay on track with my eating. Also....I'd like to wear heels at least once this week to work.

Time to Tone

Thursday, June 10, 2010

So lately I've really been thinking I need to add some weights into my routine. I know that muscle burns more calories than than fat does so the more I have...the more I burn. Plus it would help me look super fine.

Problem is...I have no idea what I'm doing when it comes to weights. I don't go into the weight room at the gym because it always smells bad and is inhabited by men. If I had a choice, I'd probably use free weights but I don't know what to do with them.

I've been thinking about getting a personal trainer but I really don't think we can afford that right now and I kind of like working things through on my own.
Do any of you know were I could find some simple weight training routines?

An Unwelcome Guest

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

So how about that Glee finale eh? Do Journey songs make any one else cry? If I were Lea Michelle I would sing all day long just so I could hear myself.

This week has been right on track so far. I've stayed within my calorie limits, drank at least 120 oz of water, and I've kept with my 45 minute cardio promise. Working out with Matt has helped a lot! Last night was a struggle for me at the gym and I'm sure I would have somehow rationalized jumping off the machine at around 30 minutes but Matt was there pushing me and reminding me of his goals. Go him! (PS...last week he lost close to 20 lbs. I have a strange mixture of pride and jealousy.)

This morning I was greeted in my office with this:

Several months ago a co-worker came around with a fundraiser for his daughter's school. I didn't want cookies but I feel good about supporting schools and I knew Matt would enjoy a few. I had forgotten about this until they showed up, unwelcome, on my desk.

I have a game plan though. The dough is already pre-portioned into balls and I have nutrition information. Since I can't eat frozen cookie dough...these are going straight into the freezer. If I want one I'll have to wait for it to defrost so I'll know if I really want it or if I'm just eating it because it is there. Or there is always plan B: Give it to my brother and sister in law in an effort to assist our win of the biggest loser. :)

How are you doing on your goals so far this week? Any obstacles pop up in your way of succeeding?

Frozen Deliciousness

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

I have a confession. I eat a frozen meal almost every weekday for lunch.

I know these aren't the healthiest foods I could be eating, but they are simple and cheap. I love to eat warm food. Sometimes I feel if I haven't eaten something warm, I haven't eaten. I've tried packing sandwiches or salads but when I do that I tend to go out and get fast food.

Usually frozen meals are really nothing to get excited over. I buy either the vegetarian kind or I pick the meat out. (In case you haven't noticed this yet..I'm really particular about my meat.)

Lately though, I've been eating 2 or three Lean Cuisine Three Cheese Stuffed Rigatoni a week. I find myself craving them throughout the day and continuing to enjoy them week after week.

This meal has huge chunks of zucchini, peppers, and carrots. The tomato sauce is really more flavorful than you'd expect as well. And there is real cheese in it that melts so wonderfully.

Is there a frozen entree that you can't get enough of?

Weekend Recap

Monday, June 7, 2010

Happy Monday! I hope you all had an excellent weekend. I sure did!

Saturday was spent cleaning our apartment, shopping, swimming and meeting up with one of Matt's old friends that now lives in Arizona. We even made it to the gym. For date night we went to restaurant called "The Blue Lemon." It is a clean eating restaurant and the food was so good! It isn't often that my plate looks exactly like the picture of the food but check this out:

That is a grilled chicken breast topped with tomatoes and artichokes on a bed of caramelized onions, mashed potatoes and roasted red pepper sauce. YUM! We'll definitely be going there again.

After dinner we went for a drive up the Alpine loop and dropped down into Sundance. The drive was beautiful. I really need to spend more time enjoying the beautiful area I live in.

Sunday was spent relaxing and grilling. We even tried grilling Bok Choy. I cut head in half, brushed it with olive oil and garlic and tossed it on the grill for just a few minutes. It was pretty good. It tastes like cabbage but a little bit more peppery. We'll be making more of it for sure.

Sunday ended with a long walk with Matthew and Charlie. There was an amazing sunset because of storms in the next valley. What a perfect way to end a weekend.


I've got plans for this next week. I'm going to kick it up a notch. This week I will not go over my 1300 calorie a day limit and I'm going to do at least 5 sessions of cardio for 45 minutes or longer.

What are your goals for this week?

Apples, Peaches, and Baby Bok Choy. Oh MY!

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Good Morning Bloggers!

I hope your weekend has started off nicely. Mine certainly has. This morning was weigh in and I now currently weigh 220.7. That is a 5.1 pound loss! A far cry from what I expected after my weekend in Vegas. Is there a better way to start out a day? I think not.

Matthew and I cleaned the apartment and then headed out to pick up our "Bountiful Basket."

Bountiful Baskets is a co-op in our area (Includes AZ, ID, NV, TX, UT, WA, and WY) that allows us to buy produce directly from the farmers so it is WAY cheaper than the stuff you get in the store. Only issue is, you can't chose what you get. You buy a basket and you get whatever is available.

This week's basket looked like this:

For $15.00 we received:

1 package of Blackberries

1 bag of Grapes

7 Bananas

1 Honeydew

3 Red Peppers

7 Apples

11 Peaches

4 Beef Steak Tomatoes

1 Head of Romain Lettuce

6 Russet Potatoes

8 Ears of Corn

and 14 heads of Baby Bok Choy

That, my friends is a steal and the produce is very high quality. I'd have a hard time finding this quality at a store. I'm so excited that I found this program for a few reasons. It will force us to work more fruits and vegetables into our diet and it will make me be more creative with the things I cook. Any ideas for what to do with Baby Bok Choy?

I hope you all are having an excellent weekend!

60 Calories

Friday, June 4, 2010

Things that you can eat for 60 calories:

1 cup of watermelon:

1 cup of grapes:

3 Triscuit Crackers

Half of an English Muffin

1 cup of broccoli

9 Almonds

3 cups of Celery

2 Hershey's Kisses

or my personal favorite....one of these!

Jell-o Mousse temptations ROCK MY WORLD! You should definitely try them out!

Chosing Success

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Did anyone catch the first episode of "Losing it with Jillian Michaels"? I didn't seek it out but I happened upon it while at the gym and thought it could provide some much needed motivation. Mission accomplished. Although most of that motivation came after I left the gym.

There was a time in the episode when Jillian was talking to one of the family members and she said,"Why would you chose failure when success is an option?"

I've been thinking about that a lot the few days and reminding myself that success IS an option. I know how to lose weight. If I can lose 10 pounds, I can lose 100 pounds. It is the same formula!

Why would I chose to ease up on my workouts or to eat more calories than I should? Where does that get me?

Each time I make a decision to eat a healthy snack or to get out and move my body, I'm going to remind myself that this is a step towards success. A healthy weight is obtainable...and its going to be mine! :)

Biggest Loser Couples

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

So today is day 1 of a neighborhood round of The Biggest Loser- Couples Edition! That means that my hubby is now trying to make some healthier choices with me! So proud of him!

I did a biggest loser competition at the beginning of this year and I lost by just a half of a percent. Total bummer but since I was in it for the long term benefits I was OK with it. This time I'm back and I'm in it to win it! Matthew is my secret weapon and the contest couldn't have come at a better time. I needed some summer motivation.

Matt is a big lover of the Dr Pepper and I think that will be the hardest for him to give up. This afternoon I got this picture message from him:

"Look at me make an effort"

Hahaha! I love this man so much!

Wish us luck! The competition is 10 weeks long and the prize is $600.00 (ie weekend getaway).

Did I just think that?

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Do you ever hear yourself thinking things that sound completely crazy?

This has happened to me a few times since changing how I use and feel about food.

Case in point: A few months ago as several of my co-workers, including my office-mate, were getting ready to go out of town for a conference, I heard myself think, "Now I can eat whatever I want and no one will know!" Immediately after having that thought I corrected myself. I reminded myself that if I cheat on the diet I'm only cheating myself. It doesn't matter if no one else sees what I eat...calories consumed are still calories consumed.

Second Example: On Thursday while I was waiting for my lunch to heat in the microwave, I was standing next to a GIANT dessert try filled with cookie bars, lemon, bars, brownies, cookies, fudge, and other delicious things, I talked myself into having just one. After all, they were cut into bit size pieces and as long as I logged them on my food log I'd be alright. Immediately after finished the first bite size brownie I went for a second. As it was on its way to my mouth I hear myself think "And No one has to know about THIS brownie!"

As soon as that thought crossed my mind I became aware of the situation and spit out the brownie before I actually ate it. Phew.

This just goes to show how utterly messed up my relationship with food is. I know that if I eat it, it counts. I know that even if no one sees it, it still counts.

Do any of you "hear" yourself think things about your eating that you know isn't right? Even if you've lost all of your weight and are now a success story do you have to deal with these thoughts?