Hello World.

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

That is usually the title of the first blog post you get when you start a new WordPress blog. I feel like it is  appropriate for this post because I feel like this is [going to be] a whole new blog. While I'm still the same person with the same history, I'm completely different. Having a child has flipped my life on its head and I'm better for it, but different none the less.

My motivation for being healthy has changed.

My goals are different.

My free time is VERY limited.

Deep down, I'm a blogger. Writing has always helped me to see things a bit more clearly. Instead of looking at my time on this site as something I *have* to do, I plan to use it as something to help me turn into the person I want to. I saw a tweet the other day that said "Think of the person you want your children to become, now be that person." I wish I could remember who said it so I could give them credit. If it was you, let me know. 

I've started eating healthier, tiny bites at a time. I'm sure this time my journey to a lower weight won't be such a whirlwind. I have other things on my plate. (Pun intended.) I also plan to use this blog to write down the other things I'm doing to lead a healthy life. It will probably include details about my family and my hobbies. 

If this isn't something you're interested in reading, go ahead and click the "unfollow" button. I realize that I'm changing the rules of this blog and I promise I won't hold any grudges. 

I'm nearly back to my before weight. I'm planning on having more children in the near future so a pregnancy wouldn't be completely unexpected and I'm completely enamored with a tiny human I let live in my house and my heart free of rent. 

Flipping the Switch

Sunday, October 9, 2011

I am so overwhelmed by the comments on my last post. I seriously have the best readers and it is no wonder that I was doing so well when I was checking in regularly with you guys. You make everything sound possible. Thank you all so much for your love and support. I feel so blessed to have received your encouragement.

Many of you gave me recommendations that I should get to a good place emotionally before I try to tackle my body issues. I've considered this and come to the conclusion that I feel better emotionally when I treat my body well. I've never regretted eating well or felt worse after a workout than I did before. I'm hoping that in an effort to take care of my physical self, that my emotional self will take care of itself.

Tomorrow morning I'm starting anew. I'm going to count calories and am setting my goal at 1800. Even if I go over my goal, it will be a big step for me just to keep a journal of everything that I'm eating. I'm also making a goal to workout at least 3 times this week. I'm hoping to work in a kettlebell routine during a few naps and on a few evenings head down to the gym to meet with my good old friend the elliptical.

You know how it is easier to lose weight when you have a buddy? Good news, the hubs has also expressed a desire to get healthier. We'll take turns on days that we workout so that we still have the majority of an evening together. I know that when we put our minds to getting healthier, that it happens.

One final thought, do you think it is easier to be healthy, or unhealthy? For instance, when I'm not working out and eating well, I feel like I have a lot more choices and freedom. But when I am being healthy, I have more energy, it is easier to find clothes that fit and look good, and I'm less self conscious. So, which do you think is easier?

Well Hello There

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

I stand before you a completely different person than I was when I last wrote. I'm overweight and unmotivated. I'm no longer a full time employee and am now a part-time employee and a full-time mom. Last June I gave birth to the most beautiful baby girl this world has ever seen. (There is a good chance that I'm biased.) I struggled with my pregnancy. I wasn't expecting the appetite that I developed and with an early warning of hypertension, I was on modified bed rest for over 12 weeks and unable to workout. I gained weight. A lot of weight. But I also gained one of these, meet Isla:

Since the birth of my daughter I've had a hard time motivating myself again. I'm often tired at the end of my day and have no desire to workout. Having both hands frequently full, I've not made the effort to prepare healthy meals for my family. There is no room in the budget for a new pair of shoes for each 10 lbs lost and when I finally get to see my husband at the end of the day, I want to spend time with him, not leave him at home with the baby and head off to the gym.

The first time I lost weight, it was like I flipped a switch. I made the decision to be healthier and I did it. I put in the work and the time. I wanted it and I wanted it more than I wanted pizza. This time, I'm having a hard time flipping that switch again. Last time I spent time reading several weight loss blogs and I weened a great deal of motivation from them. I also motivated myself by writing my own blog. I'm committing again to both read and write weight loss blog posts. I need a constant reminder of why I'm trying to be healthy. I will create that perfect weight loss storm again.

A few things you should know about me now:

-No, I'm not breastfeeding. Yes, I know it is the best choice for my daughter and I worked very hard to try to be able to breastfeed. However, after a difficult deliver, hours of pumping, and several meetings with lactation consultants, I had to come to the conclusion that I would not be able to breastfeed this child of mine. No need to judge me on this one.

-I am a stay-at-home mom 5 days of the week. I'm not financially able to stay at home full time so I have arranged my schedule so that I go into the office twice a week for a 10 hour day.

-I currently weigh 245 lbs.

-I'm dealing with a colic-y baby and a touch of postpartum depression.

It's about Balance

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

One of my biggest fears when it came to losing weight was that I'd gain it all back. The statistics are staggering. It seems that nearly two thirds of those who lose weight gain it all back, and then some within the same amount of time it took them to lose it. Why was I going to be any different? What would separate me from the others?

I thought I would be good for a while. At least while I was young and childless. I'd be motivated by the shopping for clothes and shoes. I'd workout often because I'd have the time and energy. I would be just fine until I got pregnant. Long before becoming pregnant, I knew that I would struggle with it. I knew that I would put on weight (even if rightfully so) and have a hard time getting it back off. I was worried I'd return to my old ways of mindless eating and lazy evenings at home.

Several of you have asked how I have managed to gain so little in my pregnancy and you've express fears that becoming pregnant will make you gain all of the weight you lost back. I assure you that you are SO not alone in this fear. If anything, I know that my weight loss before pregnancy has done wonders to help me control myself when the hormones hit. Its a hard shift to make from eating to lose weight, and eating to be healthy, but in the end, that is what the goal is, right? It's not just to get skinny and then eat whatever we want. It's about finding balance. It's about eating that brownie and going for a walk or doing some yoga.

I am by no means a perfect example of health. as a matter of fact, today I had two Reese's peanut butter cups and a fun-size kit kat. Something about chocolate just calls my name. Other days, I have things very much in control. I eat my planned meals and supplement with healthy snacks. But now, having lost the weight, I know that I need to balance that out. Today I also went on a long walk on my lunch break and have made and effort to eat several vegetables and fruits. Earlier this afternoon I noticed myself leaving the company kitchen with a snack pack of carrots in one hand, and the Kit Kat in the other. (Like I said...all about balance.)

Another lesson I learned was how to actually use food to fuel my body. Before, I was eating thousands of calories of whatever I wanted. I wasn't looking to provide my body with nutrients. I was looking to feel full and satisfied. Dieting taught me how to make the most of my calories. I know that I can a whole lot of fruits and veggies to keep me full without eating too many calories. I cannot tell you how valuable this lesson has been. I never knew just how hungry I would feel at times and now I don't immediately go straight to high-calorie, low-nutrient foods that I ate before.

I guess what I'm trying to say to those who fear getting pregnant for what it will do to them, is you do not need not be afraid. All of your efforts to get healthy will come in handy. It is not easy and there are definitely times where you will getting bigger and gaining weight will be hard emotionally on you. However, you'll have good days and you'll have bad days and you just have to take it one step at a time.

Recipe for a Meltdown

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Several months ago while dining at one of our favorite restaurants, Matt and I shared a dish that I still dream about. It was cheesy and buttery but not too heavy. It was flavorful and tender. It was ricotta gniocchi. We left assuming that it was a specialty item that we'd likely never get again until I stumbled upon a recipe for it at allrecipies.com.

The recipe was highly reviewed and had several comments stating how wonderful and easy it was to make. I knew this was going to be on our menu. Since the recipe called for the dough to be refrigerated before cooking I decided to make the gnocchi the night before we were going to eat it. I also took pictures of every step along the way because I knew this was going to be something I'd want to share with you.

I got all my ingredients lined up.

Mixed them into a soft beautiful dough.

Kneaded and formed the dough into rolls.

and cut the dough into small dumplings.

I laid the little puffs onto a floured baking sheet and placed in the refrigerator over night.

I dreamed about dinner the whole next day. I couldn't wait to get home to my cheesy dumplings that were sure to melt in my mouth. I came home and pulled the cookie sheet out only to see that my gnocchi had turned an unappetizing grey color. I decided to ignore the color and move on to boiling the pasta, thinking that it might breath some color back into them. It didn't. They were still brown and now they looked sticky. Refusing to give up on the dinner of my dreams I began to saute them in butter with some zucchini. The color was really getting to me. They looked like sausage, but they weren't. They were supposed to be a light fluffy pastry, not the atrocious sticky lumps I was seeing before me.

Suddenly I was hit with a wall of emotion. I was inadequate. I couldn't cook. I couldn't even cook something hundreds of other people had success with. How was it possible I was a wife? How was I ever going to be a good mother. I turned to Matt with tears in my eyes and asked, "Why did you marry someone who can't cook?" And immediately the tears began rolling down my cheeks. They couldn't be stopped. I was sobbing over a failed recipe. Matt lovingly snatched a gnocchi from the pan and ate it. He told me it was just fine. I retorted that it looked like sausage and I was not going to be eating it. He hugged me until I stopped my sobbing and I apologized for my meltdown.

I'm so lucky to have a man who can deal with my meltdowns like Matt does. So far this pregnancy I've only had three major cries, another one of which I'll be blogging about in the near future.

Dinner was wonderful.

I spent the rest of the evening cuddling on the couch watching Glee.

*Note: You can find the original recipe for the ricotta gnocchi here. I made a few adjustments to the recipe by using part skim ricotta and by using half whole wheat flour. I'm not sure if these changes are what messed up the recipe, but I do intend to make another attempt, but without refrigerating overnight.

It's a...

Monday, February 14, 2011


Isn't she lovely?

I am now almost 23 weeks pregnant and I've gained a total of 11 lbs.

I'm Famous!

Thursday, February 10, 2011

I’ve always loved magazines. The glossy pages, the full-color pictures, the perfume samples that make the whole thing smell good. Oh, I love magazines. Magazines have also been very helpful to me when it comes to my journey to get healthier. Its motivating to see success stories in magazines and helpful tips to get the most out of your food and your workouts. I subscribe to many fitness magazines including SELF, Shape, Weight Watchers, and Women’s Health. I may have a problem, but you can get them for so cheap! (Think $0.50 an issue.) I love that they give me extra motivation when I see them on my counter and they also give me wonderful recipes to try out.

So, it is no surprise that I was beyond thrilled when I was interviewed for a magazine. A real-life, glossy-paged magazine. If you pick up “My Weight Loss 2011” (a Better Homes and Gardens Special Interest Magazine) on shelves through March, you’ll find my face and interview on page 17. I was interviewed back in July before the craziness of pregnancy set in but I wanted to wait for it to come out to tell you.

The one thing I would change about how I was portrayed is the title “Secrets of Success.” I always get irritated when people use terms like that or “so-and-so reveals her weight loss secret.” There isn’t a secret. Eat good, whole, healthy foods and work that body of yours. You’ll get healthier and if you have weight to lose, you’ll lose it.

Pick up a copy of the magazine. It has very few advertisements compared to other fitness magazines and a ton of helpful recipes along with some pretty darn awesome success stories.